A Pencil Skirt and A Dash of Hope

14 Feb

Do you see what is wrong with this skirt?

It looks so cute from the front, but...

 

Ah, there we go. That's the problem.

I just spent a good 10 minutes gator-wrestling this skirt onto Freda. Freda and I hated every moment of it. And while it technically zips up on me (the body is more pliable than firm fabric), it definitely doesn’t fit. Once zipped, the top seam of the skirt rests snugly immediately under the bust (not flattering if you are under the age of 96) and the fabric hugs the hips like a hunting trap grips a bear. The more one struggles to get free, the more this skirt holds it’s deadly grasp.

Now that I’ve explained the skirt, I will share the story of how I ended up in this predicament.

When I worked in SF, I would spend some my lunches exploring various nooks of SF, finding fun places to browse and shop. One day I decided to be risky and daring, taking BART to The Mission District. If anyone has been to The Mission, it’s a fun, exciting, dangerous, and dirty place. I wouldn’t recommend going there at night, without closed-toed shoes, and clear instructions on how to find the closest BART station. If exposed sores and discarded needles scare you, skip The Mission all together.

Why go to The Mission, you ask? Because in the dankest parts of most cities, full of derelicts and neglect, exist the chicest shops in town. I had a clear destination in mind: Therapys flagship store. Therapy is a darling shop that had locations from SF to SLO, featuring hip, modern and very unique clothing. Most items were created by independent designers, so you were almost guaranteed a one-of-a-kind item. This flagship store was a shop so large they had two buildings full of fabulous chic finds.

Once there, I found myself in their sale section, where I find a denim high-waist skirt. Here’s the internal dialogue of what transpired:

“Oh-my-God-I-really-want-a-high-waist-denim-pencil-skirt-I-don’t-care-what-it-takes-I-will-own-it.”

This is the point where I blacked out from excitement. It is the only thing that explains my poor judgment from this point forward.

I go into dressing room, proceed to try on my find.

“Well, it’s a bit snug.” with a strained voice interrupted with bouts of grunting “but it….. umpf…. fits.” looks at price tag for affirmation “and it’s such a good deal.”

I brought the skirt home and promptly hung it in my closet, where I kept my fingers crossed that one of the following things would happen:

1. I would shrink just enough to comfortably wear it

2. The skirt would miraculously grow the 1/2 size necessary on its own

Honestly, I was banking on option 2. Option 1 was a half-wish; I had no intention or interest to lose weight.

All that being said, damned if I didn’t try to make that skirt work. I did wear it once. See intro paragraph for description on fit.

These few years later, I haven’t lost the measly weight and the skirt hasn’t expanded to fit me. Denim pencil skirt of my dreams, it is time for you to go.

I have new hopes – more realistic hopes. One of my best friends is a darling petite woman, with hips more forgiving than mine, and I think she would look smashing in the skirt.

Besides, where would we be without a little hope?

What did I learn? It’s foolish to buy something that doesn’t fit you properly. So what if it is on sale? If you can’t wear it, then whatever you spent on it is a waste. The only time you can get away with this is if the item is too big and is worth the additional money to be tailored.

4 Responses to “A Pencil Skirt and A Dash of Hope”

  1. Heather February 15, 2011 at 2:16 pm #

    I’ve also been there… rather than finding that motivation to lose a couple pounds I just get depressed, ha! I LOVED your descriptions… animal comparisons and horrific details of the Mission. Genius. I will only visit the Mission District in SF if I am accompanied by YOU, my friend. 😉 Hmmm, sounds like a good idea.

  2. Jackie February 14, 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    I totally understand your predicament. I often have found myself buying items I have fallen in love with on models or in pictures but once I try it on something just isn’t quite right. But I do plan on trying on your pencil skirt in hopes that it will fit me! And like you, I am in love with the idea of the skirt!

    I’m glad you made it out of the Mission District alive. Risking one’s life for a good fashion deal is so worth it! 🙂

  3. dressingmyself February 14, 2011 at 1:01 pm #

    I swear this is true: sometimes when I am shopping, aliens zoom down and steal a part of my brain. As a result I buy expensive, wholly inappropriate clothing. Sounds like you had a similar experience.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Everyone Needs Therapy « teal and tulle - March 16, 2011

    […] in Campbell, a small enclave of the meaty giant SJ. I first mentioned Therapy in my blog about the doomed pencil skirt. A shop with 5 or 6 regional locations, Therapy features individual designers and clothing makers, […]

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