I don’t know about you all, but I firmly believe there are some things in fashion that are better off left to rot and die.
1. Blousey, blousey, bloomy tops – I’m so tired of “maternity wear” for non-pregnant women. It’s not flattering, everything is distorted and oversized. Frankly, I suspect it allows clothing manufacturers to produce items that are poorly designed. How can you tell how it is supposed to fit when it looks like a garbage sack or a moving box on your upper body?
2. Festive colorful pants – I have met one woman (ONE) who has successfully worn colored denim. Well, they were fitted red corduroys and they worked. However, this trend is high risk, low reward.
3. Platform pumps – I’ve tried on these types of shoes once. In doing so caused an argument in my subconscious:
Hopeful Erin: “Oh, I look so tall!”
Practical Erin: “I don’t know, it’s sort of wabbly being 5’10”
Hopeful Erin: “My legs, they go for like 28 inches now. That might as well be forever!”
Practical Erin: “Are we listing?”
Hopeful Erin: “No, we are casually leaning to the side. We intend to do this.”
Practical Erin: “Our ankles hurt.”
Hopeful Erin: “We are like a Kardashian. If they had a ginger one.”
Practical Erin: “But we don’t like the Kardashians. And we look like an idiot in these shoes.”
Hopeful Erin: *Sighs and kicks off pumps * “Agreed.”